Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting arse head and hole

No hats no boots
Well I got the hat and the boots, so bring it on.

Writing yesterdays post didn’t take me a lot of time. When there is (Pirate in this case) passion involved, words come easily and posts get long. Most of the time, when I read it back the next day, I feel I have written something completely ridiculous, and I feel the urge to remove it again. Weird enough those posts often get a lot of comments, so I guess I should stop worrying.

I know that my writing is a bit irregular lately but I promise to shape up soon. The first week at work has been exhausting and I had to take care of some important things in the evenings (watching Pirate movies) which explains the irregularyness (nice word, not sure Oxfords knows it though).

I got the results back from my medical and D(rugs) & A(lcohol) test, and the things they measured were OK. Luckily they didn’t measure the things going on in my mind. I got my white helmet, I have my eye hurting orange security vest and my black metal nosed lets-kick-some-ass boots. In other words: I am ready to walk around rails and trains Monday or Tuesday. I have checked the list of participants for the course: I am the only girl, and it seems like the rest of the class are real (big men with orange vests and tattoos) rail workers. It is going to be interesting to spent 2 days together with them.

Things at work are going fine, there is a lot of new stuff to learn. Today I worked on a shot list for several film shoots that need to be done soon. It’s basically describing what needs to be shot (with a camera – mind you), and from which angles (closeup, wide etc.). This kind of work, even for documentary style filming like this, is as close to film making work as you can get. It’s very useful for me to get used to this kind of work and it gives me some invaluable experience. And while I was worried up front about if I was capable of doing this kind of work, it felt very natural doing it. I am more and more convinced that I am floating in the right direction, and some pieces of the puzzle called life are falling into place.

Oh, and do you remember I was using half of my holiday week on writing an application for a screenwriting course? Well I do. And I didn’t count on getting in, remember.

The thing is. Nothing ever seems to go the normal way.

First: I had to send them a 2 page outline of a complete new story that I would like to write, a story for a (90 minute – cinema) feature film. I have had this story in my head since July 2005, it has nothing to do with TGITC but that film rebooted both my mind and my life. My story is a rom-com (hey) and I can’t tell you much about it, but rest assured that one of the two main characters is a man. Oh, you want to know more. Well he is a very handsome man, he is tall, he is funky, he is funny and lanky. Now remember: this is fiction and any resemblance between the character and persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
He isn’t dead though.
But – nobody had every read my story before so I was a bit nervous: what if they hated it, or just thought it was plain stupid.

So first the bad news: The course is cancelled because of a lack of strong applicants.
“Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting arse head and hole.” is what he said, and it’s also quite close to what I thought when I heard that. 2 and a half days of blood sweat and tears I put into that bloody application.

But.

A part of the course was this:
Towards the end of the year, writer students are paired with a student from the script developer course for a Final Development Project. Over the final six months of the programme the developer and writer will work together through two drafts and three development meetings. This project is closely supervised and intended to be a useful and practical experience for both the developer and the writer. At the end of this, the tutors are going to read and judge it all.

Here is the positive angle:
If the course would have gone through, I would have been accepted. In other words my rom-com story wasn’t completely crap. That’s nice to know.

They have also asked me if I would like to participate in the “joining up with an upcoming script developer” part of the course (for free!). Their problem is of course that they now have a class of script developers without writers because the writing class is cancelled. So I can see that they need writers, but that they actually asked me to join in can mean 2 things: they are really desperate or my story is not as silly as I thought (and this is a quite well established script centre!). So I am sad and happy at the same time. Mostly happy I think.

I will use this weekend to send out some new applications to other schools because I still want to be in a class with other writers too, because where else can I go for a shoulder to cry on when I am stuck in my story or have to conquer writers blocks.

I guess this is a typical case of “To be continued”.