How to make an operation bearaBILL

The Doctor

Yesterday was the day where they removed three moles from different places of my body. I am not a big fan of hospitals (who is – but I have a neurotic fear for them) and did my very best not to have a nervous breakdown about it.

With a tube strike threatening on the horizon I left in good time just to not be late. I was there about an hour too early and decided that in stead of waiting in the hospital itself, it would probably be better to have a tea the milky way in the Starbucks next door. So I sat there and tried to concentrate on reading The Times for a while.

I entered 15 minutes before scheduled time, and of course, as dire chance and fateful cockup would have it, I had too wait there for over an hour because everything was delayed. In that hour my stomach had turned into some strange chemical factory.

When it was finally my turn I had to wear a silly hospital coat and lay down on the table. I find operations where you are still conscious scary. I don’t want to see what they are doing, because even if you won’t feel anything (due to anesthetic) I have a lively imagination. Add to that the overdose of CSI drama I have seen on the telly, and you get an idea of what it looks like in my head.

So when I lay there staring at the lights, trying hard not to look at what they were doing, I got an idea.
“Would it be OK if I listened to my iPod while you are working on me?” I asked “It might calm me down and will give me something to concentrate on”.
They thought it was a great idea.
The nurse gave me my iPod.
There was only one thing I wanted to listen to – the voicilicious man.
I picked one of my favourite radioplays with him. It’s a one hour long one (called: All Fingers And Thumbs), it always makes me laugh and I knew that I would be off the table around the end of it.

It worked perfectly. And they were faster: 45 minutes to remove 3 bits of suspicious ehrm bits. There are stitches, and it’s hard to sit, because one of the spots was right on the sitting area – but that will heal. Now there is the one month waiting time to get the hopefully “all clear”. I think I need to listen to a lot of radio plays with Bill the coming period, as the waiting drives me nuts.

5 thoughts to “How to make an operation bearaBILL”

  1. I’m glad you survived your ordeal. Most people don’t like hospitals I guess. I don’t even want to go to visit someone. It’s the smell that makes me almost sick.

    It’s a great idea to listen to your iPod in such situations. Maybe I will try it next time I’m at the dentist.

    Problems with sitting. Get yourself a nice foam donut, it might help.

    Have a good weekend.

  2. I don’t get it, why do they let you wait for a whole month? It must be possible to get the results sooner.. Ggrrrr!

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